Columbus Elementary School Principal Elizabeth Gerling always said her staff was a team and the school community a family.
It was apparent Monday evening they believed her as hundreds of teachers, school staff, parents, students and former students turned out with Gerling’s family and friends for a candlelight vigil in her memory in F.T. Proctor Park in Utica.
Gerling, 50, was found dead of strangulation in her Marcy home on August 20. Her boyfriend, Jeremy Kirch, of Camden, has been charged with second-degree murder.
Columbus teachers turned out in the green or black team jerseys, with their names printed on the backs, that Gerling had her staff wear on Mondays to bring home the teamwork message. The vigil, held just hours after Gerling’s funeral at Sacred Heart & St. Mary’s Catholic Church in New York Mills, came just a few weeks after the Columbus team had thrown a big 50th birthday bash for Gerling, one which she really enjoyed, said her son, Noah, 20.
Acting like family
And at the vigil, everyone acted like family. Teachers, students, Columbus parents hugged and hugged again, offering encouragement and sharing their love for Gerling as well as their grief.
Second grade teacher Jennifer Scaparo paid Gerling a high compliment for someone in an early-morning profession. “She made me want to work every morning,” she said. “I wanted to go to work because of her leadership.”
Danyse Collins, a speech pathologist at Columbus, continued the praise. “She always led by example,” she explained. “And she would never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do herself."
Kindergartner twins Philip Jr. and Giovanni Pastorelli and their buddy Edin Kajtazobic struggled to find words to describe Miss Gerling.
“She was nice,” Giovanni offered.
After that, they ran out of words, but nodded in agreement when the twins’ mom Christina suggested a few: Fun, happy, always a smile on her face.
Then their mom added a few of her own: “Very welcoming. Treated the kids as if they were her own.”
Gerling was the kind of principal who was always around and involved, she added. “Every time I stopped at the school, I’d see her,” she said, “six coffee cups in hand.”
'Her impact will forever be etched in our hearts'
On the stage, kindergarten teacher Mike Pagliaro kicked off the programmed portion of the vigil, explaining that it was a loving way to celebrate Gerling’s life.
He described her compassion, wisdom, sense of fun and energy. The lit candles clutched in everyone’s hands represented her light, Pagliaro said.
“Her impact will forever be etched in our hearts and our school,” he said.
Noah Gerling spoke briefly, expressing his gratitude for the love and support. “These have been a rough past few days,” he said. “But the sad time is over. I know she’s somewhere looking at us and she’s just so happy you came.”
Meaghan Williams, a Columbus graduate and a current substitute teacher at the school, sang Adele’s “When We Were Young,” capturing the evening’s mingled mood of grief and gratitude for Gerling’s life.
“Everybody here is watching you/’Cause you feel like home/You’re like a dream come true,” Williams crooned as a teenage girl leaned her head onto her mother’s shoulder and the mother reached an arm around the girl, stroking her shoulder.
“Wow,” a man sighed as the song ended. “Beautiful,” someone else breathed.
Williams’ guitar player, Tommy Lamach, husband of community/parent liaison Melissa Lamach, offered a song he said he had just learned for the vigil, “I Believe” from the band Diamond Rio.
“Now when you die, your life goes on./It doesn’t end here when you’re gone./Every soul is filled with light./It never ends, if I’m right./ Our love can even reach across eternity./ I believe, oh, I believe.”
As Williams and Tommy sang, the twilight deepened and the flames of the candles glowed more brightly.
Gerling’s brother Brian, from Manlius, thanked everyone for the outpouring of affection. “Obviously, I knew she was a big deal,” he said. “But I didn’t know how big a deal she was.”
He had a message for all the young students in the crowd. “She loved each and every one of you,” he told them. “And she wanted the best for you.”
Columbus student Saiorse fa*ga, who is heading into third grade, talked about how much fun Gerling was. Gerling brought a huge bubble blower, more of a cannon, to the school carnival and she organized inflatable races, in which staff members put on inflatable costumes and ran outside, Saiorse said.
“She was really sweet,” she added, “and every day, she tried to make every day, a new day, special.”
And then Saiorse, the daughter of two Columbus staff members, shared another thought, “I wish she’d never passed away.”
'Most amazing mother'
After the music stopped, another girl, also the daughter of a Columbus staff member, asked Noah Gerling to come play hide and seek with a group of kids. Later, he told her.
Instead he sat down at a picnic table, eager to talk about his mom, the single mother who showered him with all the love a child could need. “I can’t even put it into words,” he said. “She was the most amazing mother.”
They used to watch Red Box movies and chow down on popcorn together, until Noah fell asleep and his mom carried him to bed, he said.
Gerling took her son shopping, took him to get pedicures together and went to every game when Noah played left tackle on the Thomas R. Proctor High School football team. After the games, she would tell him he wasn’t mean enough.
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Back in 1999, Gerling moved to Arizona to teach English on a Navajo reservation, Noah said as he sketched out the story of their life together. But she moved back to New York to be close to family after Noah was born in 2004.
She taught English at Proctor, then at John F. Kennedy Middle School and then at Proctor again, taking over the Advanced Placement class, Noah proudly noted. She was promoted to Proctor assistant principal before taking on the principal job at Columbus in 2013 where Noah spent his last two years of elementary school.
His mom wore a funny costume to work once a week, maybe a blow-up unicorn or, over the holidays, a gingerbread woman, he said. “The kids just absolutely adored her,” he said, “even the naughty kids.”
His mom returned the affection. For her, he said, “(school) was not a workplace; it was a home.”
But in all those years of single parenthood, Gerling never dated. “I was her first priority always,” Noah explained.
But once he started college at Cornell University, his mother started dating again.Noah was glad to see her so happy, he said.
Carrying on her legacy
And now as he continues his life without his mother, he’ll carry her legacy with him. He owes his acceptance into Cornell University “100%” to her, he said. His mother pushed him to get good grades and kept him out of trouble.
And Gerling passed her love of animals onto her son, who is studying animal science with plans to become a veterinarian, he said.
Once he’s done with college, Noah will live with a more tangible legacy, his mother’s three dogs, Duncan, Georgie and Finley, whom she adopted when he started college because she missed him so much. (While Noah is at college, family friends are keeping the dogs.)
“She really embodied what it means to be a role model and a kind person,” Noah said. “And there’ s not many of them left.”
After Noah finished talking about his mother, he went off to see if any of the kids who wanted to play hide and seek were still around.
The candles had all been extinguished. All but some of the family’s closest friends had left, their headlights having long since disappeared into the night.
The park was dark. But those who loved Gerling promised that her light would shine on in their hearts.
